True Intimacy

[excerpt from Intimacy-trusting oneself and the other by Osho]

“A man who trusts himself comes to know the beauty of it–comes to know that the more you trust yourself, the more you bloom; the more you are in a state of let-go and relaxation, the more you are settled and serene, the more you are calm, cool, and quiet. And it is so beautiful that you start trusting more and more people because the more you trust, the more your calmness deepens; your coolness goes deeper and deeper to the very core of your being. And the more you trust, the more you soar high. A man who can trust will sooner or later know the logic of trust. And then one day he is bound to try to trust the unknown.

Start trusting yourself–that is the fundamental lesson, the first lesson. Start loving yourself. If you don’t love yourself, who else is going to love you? But remember, if you only love yourself, your love will be very poor.

A great Jewish mystic, Hillel, has said, “If you are not for yourself, who is going to be for you?” And also, “If you are only for yourself, then what meaning can your life ever have?”–a tremendously significant statement. Remember it: Love yourself because if you don’t love yourself, nobody else will ever be able to love you.

You cannot love a person who hates himself. And on this unfortunate earth, almost everybody hates himself, everybody condemns himself. How can you love a person who is condemnatory toward himself? He will not believe you. He cannot love himself–how can you dare? He cannot love himself–how can you love him? He will suspect some game, some trick, some trip. He will suspect that you are trying to deceive him in the name of love. He will be very cautious, alert, and his suspicion will poison your being. If you love a person who hates himself, you are trying to destroy his concept about himself. And nobody easily drops his concept about himself; that is his identity. He will fight with you, he will prove to you that he is right and you are wrong.”

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