Good Intentions: Elizabethan Execution Style

I got a taste of what it was like to be living alone again the other day. I came home and went to the bathroom to wash my hands when through my translucent shower curtain I saw the biggest cockroach in my tub. I wanted to scream…to shriek in horror…but who would hear me?…besides Duke. But a dog isn’t going to help me capture this god-awful creature.

I have a jar I keep around for capturing anything that shouldn’t be inside my bungalow…mainly spiders and the occasional long-bodied creature with many legs that give me the heebie jeebies.

Although I’m a carnivore now, I’m still respectful of all life form. I can’t even bring myself to kill the annoying fly that keeps buzzing around the house. So this jar is to serve in capturing and releasing these crawling creatures.

After seeing the cockroach, I quickly grab my jar. With my heart racing and fear embracing me, I pull the shower curtain back and attempt to trap it inside the jar. It’s fast and starts scurrying away. I make several attempts in this bathtub battle and before I know it, it’s all over. With its 2 long antennas plus the length of its body, this cockroach is so big that I realize it’s not going to pass the 4-inch diameter mouth of the jar. It’s too late…I accidentally killed it.

Cause of death: Beheading.

Yes, the edge of my jar clipped it’s head and for a few seconds, head and body now detached were still moving…probably confused…and then all was still.

Gross…and sad. My good intentions in saving this awful creature actually resulted in decapitating it. Oopsie.


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