When was the last time you worried and stressed about (fill in the blank)? I set a “goal” this year to have complete faith in knowing that everything will be okay. I thought I had evolved to where I didn’t (or rather wouldn’t) worry about anything anymore. But my doubts got the best of me and I started to worry. I started to worry about my future and started to ask myself what I wanted out of life. It felt like an early mid-life crisis. And then because I thought I was “above” worrying, I started getting down on myself for even feeling that way (which didn’t help).
While talking to a girlfriend of mine, whom I’ve known since high school, I told her about the uncertainties that plagued my psyche. And as if confessing a secret, I said to her, “I’m f*cked up.” And her response was, “Who isn’t? We all have our issues.” And of all things I could have heard to make me feel better, it was that. Yes, we all have our hurts, triggers, fears, and baggage from the past…and it’s okay. It’s what makes us quirky and unique in our own way. It’s our responsibility to know what they are so that they don’t subconsciously sabotage our lives.
The meaning and lessons from last week are still revealing themselves to me. So I don’t have the positive-inquisitive conclusion I normally try to offer, except for, “it’s okay to not be okay”. One refreshing realization was discovering that I can be just as I am around my friends and Jimmy: whether I’m feeling positive or not. I’m loved and accepted as I am and there are no expectations of me for being anything other than myself. I suppose the positive note here is to do the same thing for myself.
Cheers to a Healthy. Happy. Sexy. You.
stella loves you signature