I feel like there is so much to share with you and some times I can’t catch up. Sometimes I feel as though this blog should be called “Exposed” as I stand here baring all. I didn’t get naked in Bali but felt like I might as well have. My group and my teachers–we had such a great connection (in all ways). I had somehow been liberated with my teachers whom I experienced unconditional acceptance from. I was free to be who I was. This was shown to me through my yoga practice each morning. There were no expectations of how or where I “should be” in my practice. It was a day by day practice. I’m not saying they didn’t encourage me to go further in an asana (pose) or in 2nd series or even in back bending and drop backs. They did. But there was no expectation. They listened and observed. That’s the sort of gentle kindness I needed. Some times a little nudge, a slight redirection, and holding a space for me to explore and be kind to myself. It’s a damn good tool for life!
My practice reveals and reflects whether or not I’m being honest with myself. The truth was always a muddled thing for me in the past…especially growing up with my family. I never could really say what I was feeling or thinking. There were unsaid expectations of how I should be or should know what I was supposed to be doing. As a child, I didn’t feel like it was ok to just relax and watch TV without worrying about my father saying that I should be doing more reading than watching. Whatever it was I was doing, there seemed to always be something else I should be accomplishing. Relaxing just did not seem to be part of the family vocabulary nor something encouraged. Till this day, I don’t know if my father is ever relaxed. And I have to say, it wasn’t till this past year did I allow myself to relax and learned that resting, taking time off is not only ok but necessary. Sounds silly, huh? Especially because I’m the one who’s teaching yoga and teaching people how to relax in class! My natural mode of being though, is to keep doing, accomplish more, work harder, and it never ends.
I’m fortunate that I’ve found my “it”..my passion, my path. And I suppose at this point inmy journey, I’d like my “mark” on this earth to be one where I help you reveal your truth. To not be afraid of who you are. To not be ashamed of the past or the present. Yoga and meditation is a means to get there. And the way to get there or anywhere is to be here. In this moment. Now.