Are you a lez-bee-yon?

I just remembered when I was at my 5-hour layover at the Taiwan airport, I went to the bathroom and when I came out of my stall and starting washing my hands, two older women came in. One chose the middle stall and the other walked to the very last one and when she opened the door, I saw the reflection of a squatting toilet in the mirror! Why would anyone choose a squatter over a western toilet?

(Forward 1 day later…)

On my first day out and about, I was approached by two young girls probably around 13 years old with blond hair walking towards me. In their cute little Australian accent they ask if I spoke English. Eagerly wanting to help these lost young ladies I said yes!

The first thing the taller girl asks is, “Are you a lesbian?”

Taken aback, all I could say was “No”.

“Are you only attracted to men?”

“Yes…ummm, why are you asking these questions?”

The shorter one says, “Oh, we’re doing a survey.”

(Their accents aren’t so little and cute anymore and I start to get a bit annoyed that I was chosen as a subject for this ludicrous “survey”.)

I start to continue on with my walk which was thank god in the opposite direction) and they ask,

“Are you married?”

Proudly I shouted over my shoulder, “No! I’m divorced!” and start walking off thinking that would be enough to shut them up.

As if they hadn’t annoyed me enough, they replied in a very apologetic tone and it sounded like they genuinely felt sorry for me and said, “awwww…that’s so sad! I’m so sorry!”


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