The Simplicity of Solitidude Enjoyed

I’ve done a lot of things alone (off the top of my head): dining out, watching movies, the symphony, going to a bar, the beach, Chicago, Bali…It used to be a test to see how comfortable I could be by placing myself in a potentially uncomfortable situation. And a Friday evening…Alone. With no plans. That was cause for potential self-loathing and criticism.

Never would I have thought that I’d enjoy much less look forward to a solo evening on a Friday night. I finished teaching a class at 7pm and decided to head over to Trader Joe’s and treat myself to a steak and a bottle of Bordeaux. I’m a lightweight…only had 1/3 of the bottle. I’ll probably bring it over to dad’s tomorrow and finish the rest with him–if he’ll have it.

Could I have called up some friends and suggested we get together? Sure. Would I have wanted to be invited out for the night? Why not. But was I seeking company or yearning for it? No.

I think I’ve come to a place in my life where I find comfort in solitude. From “The TAO of Travel” by Paul Theroux a recent acquisition to my library:
“In the best travel books the word “alone” is implied on every exciting page, as subtle and ineradicable as a watermark… Alone, alone: it was like proof of my success. I had had to travel very far to arrive at this solitary condition.”

Who knew that a juicy steak, roasted brussel sprouts, a glass of bordeaux and an after dinner walk with Duke in the neighborhood would not only be sufficient but one of the most perfect ways to end a week?

Motorbiking in Bali

[Spiritual SoundBite] Desires Are Tempting

“Desire is clinging to pleasure”  –Yoga Sutra 2.7

-Gregor Maehle Ashtanga Yoga-Practice & Philosophy

This particular yoga sutra caused quite a stir amongst us yogis in Bali when I brought it up. Or at least it did for me. I was confused about this sutra because I asked my teachers, “What about a desire to want to make this world a better place? Or the desire to make others happy?” And my teacher said it was still a desire. A “good” desire is still a desire! It turned into a conversation about my “goals” in life because most of my desires are goal-oriented. What I got out of this conversation was that my “goals” only cause more desire and because I’m attached to a particular outcome, it causes my Will (ego) to work very hard. And we all know that my ego only gets me in trouble or makes me unhappy. Wanting something as well as NOT wanting something is just two sides of the same coin-they are both desires.

I was dumbfounded when I discovered my fellow yogis as well as my teachers did not have a ready-made list of goals they could whip out and share. Making a list of goals for the day, the week, and the month is like breathing to me! It’s such a part of our culture in the West. I left the study group that afternoon awe-stricken. But as the information sank in and I was more comfortable with the idea of letting go of my “list”, a sense of relief and lightness came over me. I waivered between: “No goals? How do I live? Others will think I’m so lazy if I have no goals to share.” and “I only have the present moment. Stay connected. What I need to know will be revealed to me. Stay open so you can receive.”

I thought I’d shifted away from what I thought was expected of me to living my life according to what I thought was best. But I guess when you’re in the dark, you don’t know you’re there till someone turns on a light and shows you that you were actually in the dark! I’ve realized that being goal-oriented is very masculine energy and it also causes tunnel vision. And with tunnel vision, it’s easy to miss what’s around you. The flowers don’t get smelled, the chirping birds don’t get heard, and other people or opportunities that are awaiting for our attention may also get missed.

So I’m going to slow down. If you remember from last year, my goal (ha!) was to work less and live more. I experimented with doing less and guess what? Everything that needed to be done was done. So this year, I will neither be desireful or desireless. Stay tuned for the results in 7 months!
Cheers to a Healthy. Happy. Sexy. You.

  

[Spiritual SoundBite] Spirit+Imagination=Manifestation

We are all such wonderful spirits and connected in ways that we don’t even know yet. Bali is so conducive in showing me this. I had a great time the other day, visiting my favorite shops in town. I befriended the shop owners of a jewelry/bead shop in Ubud on Honoman Street: Maya and Ketut. Maya handles the business and her husband Ketut is the artist. I’ve been hanging out with them at their shop and he’s been showing me how to make knots for bracelets and how to make a mala (108 beaded prayer necklace like a rosary). He says that if I’m a teacher, I must know how to make one and put my feeling and heart into it so I can make it for my students. I consider him a true artist…he weaves his spirituality and utmost reverence to Spirit along with his imagination to manifest the beautiful creations he makes from his heart. If you receive a necklace or bracelet from him, you know it was truly made with his entire being. All the jewelry in the store is made with this amazing energy. He inferred to me that everything we do should be done in this manner. All of our actions are an offering to our Higher Power/God/whatever you’d like to call him/her/it. And the purpose behind it is to further the happiness of others. So every day when he prays in the morning he asks for guidance in doing this. Many of the Balinese I’ve met often ask “Are you happy?”…instead of “How are you?” They also look you in the eye with genuine acknowledgement. Most are Hindu and sometimes you’ll be greeted with “Namaste” or even just the hands in a prayer position. When I receive this greeting, I feel a mutual respect and acknowledgement, as well as an understanding that we’re recognizing each other as True Spirit, Light, and Love. Let us greet and acknowledge our coworkers, friends, family, and strangers with this reverence. True healing starts with small positive changes. Cheers to a Healthy. Happy. Sexy. You. P.S Missed some Spiritual SoundBites from the past? Read them here! P.P.S Know someone who’d be interested in getting their very own Spiritual SoundBite every Tuesday? They can sign-up here! It’s Spring! The juncture from Winter into Spring is an important one. Learn what foods to eat, how to cook and prepare your food, and which foods are best for your particular body type. Spring into a healthier lifestyle, starting with our Spring Detox starting in April. See below for more info. SPRING DETOX PROGRAM Nutrition Ayurveda Principles Cooking Classes — **For 3-Weeks starting in April** For more info and to reserve your spot email: Stella@YogaGals.com brought to you by: and YogaGals™ is LA’s premiere mobile and green holistic lifestyle leader. We provide yoga and massage therapy, as well as meditation and healthy cooking classes for individuals and groups. We’re here to inspire those who live in the city to choose and create a healthier lifestyle and raise consciousness through practical tips for your everyday life. Our mission is for you and everyone on the planet to be living a healthy, happy, and sexy life.

Continuing On Together…Separately

It was my “last” morning practice with Prem & Radha today. I thought of bringing my camera to capture me smiling with my beloved teachers but I thought how that very action would create longing inside me to always have them with me. So instead, I chose not to bring  my camera nor to capture any moments with them because I know this is not my last time seeing them but just a “see you later” sort of moment.

As I walked back to my villa after practice and did my usual routine of showering and getting dressed for breakfast, it dawned on me that Bali and Los Angeles–although are 2 different places in the world, they are both a part of me and not separate. My life here in Bali is not separate from my life in Los Angeles. I’m continuing to live and carry on what I’ve learned here in Bali and bringing it to Los Angeles; and vice versa. My journey back and forth is a continuation of the same life. I was so grateful this thought came to me because I had been viewing the 2 as two very separate things in my life. How I live here in Bali doesn’t stop when I leave; it continues when I’m in LA. It’s a very simple yet comforting thought.

The heartfelt connections, laughter, conversations, and time spent together with the people here are now just a part of who I am. They have my energy and I have theirs. I know I’ll be back and even though I leave today, I know I’ll say “See you later!”

The Constant Thread for Life’s Reflection

As I sit in the lobby of my villa, I can’t help but think in amazement how I got here. “Here” not only meaning Bali but the kind of life I’ve chosen for myself. I think about the recent significant point in my life: my divorce from my first husband and how it has brought out in me courage, faith, and trust.The time that led up to the separation as well as the process of moving out was one of the most grief stricken, traumatic, and stressful times of my life. I had a life with this person for 6 1/2 years…for most of my adult life! That was nearly 3 years ago. My life as I knew it had crumbled and was gone. I had just quit my advertising job to start YogaGals and six months later, I find myself separating from my husband and moving out into a place of my own. I was completely uprooted and was so mentally and emotionally shocked by the reality of it all that I literally couldn’t feel the ground beneath me. When I walked, I couldn’t feel the ground. It felt like my feet were floating a foot off the ground for 3-months. It was unsettling and the strangest sensation but I couldn’t do anything about it.

Thankfully during this time, I went to yoga practice every morning. It was the only constant thing in my life and I knew it would always be there for me. I was very sad, and hardly ate & slept, but I knew the one good thing I could do for myself was to go to practice every morning. It was the only thing I looked forward to. There were moments while on my mat I wanted to burst out into tears. I’d let the rush of emotions come and go and I’d continue on with my practice.

Not only do I attribute surviving this stressful time with my yoga practice, but my yoga teacher at the time swooped in with impeccable timing and “saved” me…we started dating. I know, how cliche does that sound?!….a divorcee in Los Angeles dating her yoga teacher.  Obviously, it didn’t work out ’cause I’m not with him now, but I’m so grateful he was there for me at that particular time. I was nurtured back to health (I had lost close to 15 lbs), started to laugh and have fun again, and my time with him was very special.

Fast forward to today, I can see and say that Ashtanga has been the constant thread weaving through my life. It has literally changed me and helped me to evolve into who I am right now. It has brought me to Bali and connected me to so many other yogis (now lifelong friends) from around the world. It has connected me to my teachers Prem & Radha–my mentors, guides, and reflections of my heart. It has shown me and continues to show me a way of living life. It’s a daily choice.

I’m so happy that the choice I made 3 years ago to practice despite how grief-stricken or how impossible it might have felt…I did anyway. Because that choice 3-years ago, still affects me today. I now know that “right” choices aren’t just the big ones we’re confronted with (like where to live or what to do for work) but it’s the small ones we make everyday that add up and our LIFE as we know it is the result of all these choices.

 

Temptation…and Commitment

Now that I’ve been here for a month and have acclimated to “living” here, I think to myself, “hmmm…it wouldn’t be bad to stay here a couple of more weeks.” But what really spurred this thought was the fact that Bali only issues 30-day Visas and mine expires today. Which means, I need to pay $50 to extend my Visa for another 30-days or else when I leave, I’ll have to pay $25/day for every day I stay till I leave. So I thought…well, I’m already extending my visa another 30-days…why not stay a lil longer? I even have a friend who offered her spare room in a bitchin’ villa she’s renting nearby with an awesome pool and view of the jungle.

I’m also doing well with my practice and have gotten so much stronger with the guidance of my teachers. This would be my main reason for staying…to further my practice. But honestly, I think I’m ready to go back home and take what I’ve learned here and apply it once more like last year. Apply it not only for myself but to also teach and share what I’ve learned and how it works for me to anyone who wants to learn.

A friend last night asked if we had learned anything new this time. There were a few things, but mostly it has been refining and going deeper with what I already know. My  practice and time spent with my teachers also have helped to reaffirm that I’m on the right path…for ME. And for that, I am so grateful. I’ve found a physical, mental, and spiritual practice that helps me LIVE LIFE. It’s a discipline and framework to work within that resonates with me. It’s a choice I make every single day. A commitment to be aware and live presently. And this commitment extends towards the sake of my past, present, and future students as well.

When I’m here in Bali, I stop worrying about the “usual” things I tend to worry about in Los Angeles. The “things” that are so much a part of life in LA that don’t matter (here, at least)…like success, money, a new car, a house…all these things would be ‘nice’ but it’s not necessary. None of these things matter at the end. When we’re on our deathbed, we’re not going to look back at our life and say, “My Porche made me so happy.” Right?! We’re going to look back and be grateful for what gave our life meaning and purpose.

Yup…I’m ready to take on life in LA again…my home sweet home.

[Spiritual SoundBite] ‘Stand Up!’ …Ride It Out

Being out in the ocean with my surf instructors and hearing “Stand Up!” as my cue to catch a wave was always an exhilarating moment. I’ve lived in Los Angeles my whole life and have never surfed (that sounds so lame!). So I finally did it here in Bali in a little surf town called Sarangan.

Paddling out into the ocean was such a challenge. In the beginning I wanted to get out there as quickly as possible and so I fervently paddled until I quickly wore myself out. I looked around and saw the professionals gliding on the water and they looked relaxed and went twice as fast. So I started to relax and it was much easier!

Once I reached my destination in the middle of the ocean I patiently waited for the next wave to come. The instructors were amazing at recognizing which waves were the best. They’d say, “Ok! Get ready!” And I’d lay on my board and start paddling away until the waved reached me and I’d hear “Stand Up!” It was as if time stood still in that moment and it was just me, my wave, and our silent bond. Also, there was no choice but to go with the flow. It’s truly a magical moment.

Now I understand why surfers are religious about it. It’s a great metaphor for life: relax and be at ease. Be prepared and patiently wait for your opportunity…it will surely come. And when it does, have the courage to take it; ride it out and see where it takes you.

It’s Spring! The juncture from Winter into Spring is an important one. Learn what foods to eat, how to cook and prepare your food, and which foods are best for your particular body type. Spring into a healthier lifestyle, starting with our Spring Detox starting in April. See below for more info.

Cheers to a Healthy. Happy. Sexy. You.

P.S Missed some Spiritual SoundBites from the past? Read them here!
P.P.S Know someone who’d be interested in getting their very own Spiritual SoundBite every Tuesday? They can sign-up here!

SPRING DETOX PROGRAM Nutrition Ayurveda Principles Cooking ClassesYoga Meditation — **3-Weeks for $108 starting in April** For more info and to reserve your spot email: Stella@YogaGals.com brought to you by: and

YogaGals™ is LA’s premiere mobile and green holistic lifestyle leader. We provide yoga and massage therapy, as well as meditation and healthy cooking classes for individuals and groups. We’re here to inspire those who live in the city to choose and create a healthier lifestyle and raise consciousness through practical tips for your everyday life. Our mission is for you and everyone on the planet to be living a healthy, happy, and sexy life.

For GIRLS ONLY (…and curious boys)

I didn’t go to practice yesterday or this morning. I’m on what’s called in Ashtanga, my “woman’s holiday” aka my menstruation cycle. So it’s advised that women do not practice while on their period. I’ve known some women to be upset that they needed to take a few days off of practice. I on the other hand, have always welcomed this short reprieve. We’re bleeding for God’s sake!…AND we’re working, running a business, grocery shopping, cooking, and taking care of the family…all while hemorraging. We need this time to rest and take it easy. To reserve our energy.

My Chinese doctor in LA firmly and sternly told me also to not practice yoga while on my period. He gives orders without really telling you why. I gathered up enough courage to ask “Why?” one time and he says, “You’ll get bad skin again. You want bad skin??!?” (It was what he was treating me for)

So when the Ashtanga system and my Chinese doctor both say to not practice while on my period, I listen. The two have not failed me yet. And as with honoring our full moon and new moon days, I want to honor the apana–the downward energy that is flowing through me. So instead, I do my 4 purifications pranayama and meditation. If my body feels like it needs to move a bit, a do a little stretching. But nothing strenuous.

I like being in touch and connected with my body. My cycle runs approximately every 28 days and changes with the seasons. So as the days get warmer towards summer, my cycle follows the full moon. And as the days get colder, my cycle falls with the new moon. Kinda cool, huh?

[Spiritual SoundBite] Where’s Your Paradise? (…and private photos)

I whipped up a bowl of quinoa and dark greens in my outdoor kitchen; sat down and plopped my feet up on the patio table to face the lush garden of tropical plants and flowers that surround my villa. A blue dragonfly flitters by and lands on the edge of a hearty long leaved plant (dragonflies look like little helicopters to me).

Feeling blessed by my surroundings, I start to eat. But suddenly I feel a bit lost. I wonder why? I begin to realize that there isn’t  much meaning for me wherever I am unless I’m with the ones I love: Jimmy, Duke, my family, friends, students: my community. Of course I’m here in Bali with teachers and yogi friends I’m crazy about and Bali is probably one of the most beautiful and nurturing places on earth. But no matter where I am, even if it’s paradise, if I’m not with the ones I love, what’s the point? Home IS being with the people I love. Home is my paradise What or where is your paradise?

Here are a few photos of My Paradise to share with you:

New Year’s w/ Jimmy and Papa & Mama Cheung

Duke and lil Emmi

Nat, Joe, Kevin, Jimmy, & Catherine…united over a ‘friendly’ game of Truth or Dare Jenga

Lizzy & Kimmy

my niece Olivia aka “muy muy” and my sis, Sylvia aka “gatz”

momma Cheung & me

my nephews: Graham & Desmond

my main squeeze(s): Jimmy & Duke

Jimmy & me

I’ve started my Ashtanga Diaries…the insights and hardships of the practice revealed! (at least from my point of view ) Read it here.

Cheers to a Healthy. Happy. Sexy. You.

P.S Missed some Spiritual SoundBites from the past? Read them here!
P.P.S Know someone who’d be interested in getting their very own Spiritual SoundBite every Tuesday? You can sign-up here!