Lopped Off the Dead Weight

I was in desperate need of a haircut. I felt like I had a bird’s nest sitting on top of my head that Smokey the Bear would have deemed as a fire hazard. It happened to be the day of birthday gathering too…so I called it my  birthday haircut just for the hell of it. I did my research the night before and found some photos to share with my stylist who’s been cutting my hair for the past 3 years. I have 3 ‘doctors” in my life that I can’t live without and am grateful that each one of them for being good at their jobs: my car doctor, my hair doctor, and of course my medical doctor.

I showed her photos of the kind of look and feel I wanted and she knew exactly what to do. How had I been carrying all that weight on my head?!

A Shameless Devour Confessed…

2:08pm
I have a confession. Well, it’s not much of a confession to those I’m close to. I am amongst the carnivore variety these days. For some it evoked a “Hooray! Now we can go anywhere to eat!” and for others it’s “Really?…Why?” I won’t go too much into ‘why’ of it other than it was recommended by my Chinese doc back in December. It was a horrific thing for me to even fathom. But slowly I had fish then chicken…and then more chicken. Once my body had had a taste of this avian variety, I could not get enough of it.

Last week, I felt very lethargic and had no energy to do anything. I’d teach a class and felt spent. By the end of the week, I knew something was wrong when it didn’t go away and decided to see my Chinese doctor. He said I had the “flu”. Some things have no translation and “flu” is best word for whatever it is he’s diagnosed me with.

This week, I suddenly had a craving for steak. I wanted bloody red meat. If you had told me this just a month ago, I would have been completely repulsed by the idea…and have been ever since I’ve been vegetarian. This is definitely one of those times where I even surprised myself.

Today, I decided to do it. I went to Gelson’s where I knew there would be good quality meat and befriended a butcher named Ramon. He happened to be putting out packaged meat while I was at the section and I started to sheepishly ask him which cuts were most tender. He said that all the meats here are very tender, organic and of high quality. He’s tried all of them. And, he’s worked there for 17 years. Now that’s my kinda butcher: knowledgeable and passionate about his trade. So I decided to confess to him: “I’ve been a vegetarian for 6 years and just recently started eating meat again. It’s probably been 10 years since I’ve had a steak. Can you recommend something?” He stood like Captain America with his chest puffed out, fists on his hips and said “I’ve got the perfect steak for you!”…he didn’t really stand like that, but looking back he might as well have. He asked me what price range I was looking at and I said it didn’t matter…I mean, if this is going to my FIRST STEAK IN 10 YEARS, it better be fucking good. So he confidently told me that he was going to cut something for me and assured me that I’d enjoy it very much. He adjourned to the back and returned with a USDA Prime Beef Rib Spencer Steak at 26.99/lb. There’s no context for me to put any of this information in, but the color of the steak was nice and red and it was a nice size. He told me to cook it in a pan: a little cooking oil, 3-minutes on each side, covered (the fat will help cook it). He also generously sent me home with rub for Spencer.

As soon as I got home, I gently took the plastic wrap off of Spencer and started to put the rub on. I wore my mala and started singing the Triyambacam mantra to Spencer and blessed him and thanked him for his life so that I could be nourished. I also hoped that in return, by ingesting Spencer, I could help raise his spirit up. I gently laid Spencer down in the pan and covered him for 3-minutes on each side.

Spencer...fresh from the butcher

Spencer got a special rub and rub down while I chanted and blessed him

The time had come. I placed Spencer down on my finest China, sat down at the kitchen table, cut a piece off and ate it. YESSS! This is what my body needs. The combination of juices, texture, and seasoning was a celebratory explosion of fireworks for my taste buds and the feel-good electrical impulses in my brain. Each bite was a celebration. The glass of California red wine and arugula salad I fixed for myself was a waste of time. The loaf of rustic bread, still hot from having just come out of the oven was only a good compliment because of its ability to soak up the pale red juice that flowed onto my plate from each cut.

Cooked to perfection

Devoured...each bite is an explosion of celebratory fireworks

Never would I have thought of appreciating a butcher so much. To all the butchers out there who are passionate about delivering good quality, I commend you. My Spencer steak was just under half a pound at $12.69. I chuckled once I had finished my meal and realized the last two digits of the price and felt it as being appropriate for such an experience. (Yes, that was my sorry attempt at ending this with a sexual joke)

Crispy Kale Chips!

For GIRLS ONLY (…and curious boys)

I didn’t go to practice yesterday or this morning. I’m on what’s called in Ashtanga, my “woman’s holiday” aka my menstruation cycle. So it’s advised that women do not practice while on their period. I’ve known some women to be upset that they needed to take a few days off of practice. I on the other hand, have always welcomed this short reprieve. We’re bleeding for God’s sake!…AND we’re working, running a business, grocery shopping, cooking, and taking care of the family…all while hemorraging. We need this time to rest and take it easy. To reserve our energy.

My Chinese doctor in LA firmly and sternly told me also to not practice yoga while on my period. He gives orders without really telling you why. I gathered up enough courage to ask “Why?” one time and he says, “You’ll get bad skin again. You want bad skin??!?” (It was what he was treating me for)

So when the Ashtanga system and my Chinese doctor both say to not practice while on my period, I listen. The two have not failed me yet. And as with honoring our full moon and new moon days, I want to honor the apana–the downward energy that is flowing through me. So instead, I do my 4 purifications pranayama and meditation. If my body feels like it needs to move a bit, a do a little stretching. But nothing strenuous.

I like being in touch and connected with my body. My cycle runs approximately every 28 days and changes with the seasons. So as the days get warmer towards summer, my cycle follows the full moon. And as the days get colder, my cycle falls with the new moon. Kinda cool, huh?

Embracing the Little Fatty In Me: Lessons from My Alkaline Cleansing Diet

Certainly the emotional breakdown I had over my bowl of mung beans was because of the tortuous Type-A personality that this cleanse brought out in me. But beyond that, the cleanse has stirred up some issues I have around my body image, eating, and food. Ohhhh where do I start, and will the lengthy discussion (or shall I say rant) deserve your attention span here? I’ll keep this as concise as I can.

The purpose of me going on this cleanse was to see if I could clear up the frustrating acne that has suddenly and stubbornly appeared on my face and made its home there for the last 10 months. While I was getting acupuncture treatments for this tyrant that’s invaded my face, I thought it’d be a good time to also delve into my diet; seeing if I eliminated alcohol, salt, spices, dairy, caffeine, and a host of other goodies, if it’d clear up. My intention was to clean up my insides and not to lose weight.

(Flash back t0 28 years ago when I was 5 years old). My nickname amongst my family was ‘Fay Moi’, which translates into “Little Fatty”. Do you see where this is going? I had this concept that I was fat kid while growing up but when I look back at photos, I look “normal”–neither skinny nor fat. I was a good healthy size. As I hit my teenage years and my self-consciousness caught up with the “little fatty” in me, I tried a host of creative ways to not be ‘little fatty’: diet pills, not eating, throwing up, extreme exercise, even speed for 1-week.

Looking back, it’s not about the weight or the food, but it’s really how I feel about ME. Being on this cleanse brought back feelings of “feeling fat” and I caught myself wanting to lose lbs. But as a friend suggested, instead of hating the “Little Fatty” in me, I need to embrace her–she’s a cute, happy-go-lucky kid! I can now change the meaning I have attached to Fay Moi and love her for who she is.

7 TIPS: Alkaline Cleansing Diet

1. Stock up your fridge with the list of fruits and veggies for the week. If you were like me, you’ll be famished. In 8 days, I went through a total of 20 peaches, 8 nectarines, 6 mangoes, 3 bags of spinach, 3 bags of collards/kale/turnip greens, 2 bags of mung beans, 5 boxes of quinoa, 2 bags of wakame and hijike seaweed, and lots of water. Here’s the list of fruits and veggies and recipes for the liver flush and tea.

1a. Liver Flush & Tea Concoction. This is what I found to be most effective time wise: make the tea first and while it’s steeping make the liver flush. That way, by the time you’re done making and drinking the liver flush, you can drink the tea right away. I also used the same ‘tea bag’ and would refill it during the day with hot water to enjoy the tea. It’s pretty tasty! But I might have weird taste.

2. Make sure you don’t have  much to do. As with any cleanse/fast make sure you have ample time during the cleanse to get plenty of rest, lots of down time, and not much to do.  If you normally have plenty of energy like I do,  don’t try running all over town teaching yoga and healing others like I tried. I was exhausted, a bit delirious, and kept getting dizzy the last few days.

3. It should be more mentally challenging than physically. You can eat as much of the veggies/fruits on the list as you’d like. With that and #2 being said, if you experience extreme hunger and fatigue in the beginning like I did, AND you have to carry on with your normal daily routine, this may not be a good time for you to do the cleanse.

4. Make sure your partner, spouse, significant other is aware of what you’re about to embark on. Thankfully, Jimmy is used to my “phases” (he thinks he’s one) and so I made him well aware of what I was doing and he was very supportive throughout. He even joined me on a few meals of steamed veggies and quinoa, adding his own twist to the meal with beer, tabasco, and salt & pepper.

5. If your dog’s peanut butter biscuits start to look good…it may be time to eat! I was actually jealous of Duke’s treats.

6. Use your intuition. I’m a big believer in using my own intuition because I know my body well and I know what feels right. Trust yourself if something doesn’t feel good. Looking back now, I started feeling depressed the last few days. I love cooking and eating. So not being able to create tasty food was a bummer for me. (A sad, depressed yoga teacher is not a good look for me.)

7. Post-Cleanse Eating. Even though the cleanse is “10-days”, you’ll need to slowly incorporate regular foods back into your diet. Don’t just got out and have a cheeseburger and fries–your body will freak the fuck out. Continuing eating a clean diet with most of the foods on the list and slowly reintroduce 1 or 2 foods during the week and add more foods gradually. You’ll notice if your body reacts differently to something you normally ate before the cleanse and how it will react now. I was bummed when I had my first dirty martini a week after I stopped the cleanse and it was WAY OVERWHELMING for my taste buds

I hope this helps you on this cleanse if you decide to do it. Let me know how it goes!

Day#8 Alkaline Cleanse: Mung Bean Bowl of Tears

Jimmy and I were about to leave for a housewarming on Saturday (sorry Amy!). I was eating a bowl of mung beans while waiting for him to finish getting ready and suddenly I started sobbing. I was so upset and unhappy about the bowl of mung beans and the accumulation of tasteless food I had ingested for the last 8 days. I no longer looked forward to eating. But what was frustrating most of all was that I felt weak and dizzy. My mind was no longer clear and sharp but fuzzy and discombobulated. My zest for life seemed to have gone just as tasteless as my food. And now, I was emotional.

I realized I had forced upon myself, the hardship of this cleanse with good intention but was ignoring what my body was trying to tell me–”it doesn’t feel good, stop!” So it wasn’t until I cried over my bowl of mung beans did I take a moment to realize I was torturing myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. And all because my will power is so much stronger than my ass (our largest muscle group).

This whole experience is shedding light on what old habits I may still have lingering in my subconscious. I thought I had quit being so hard on myself. I thought I was connected enough to know that if something doesn’t feel good, it’s not right. I thought I had left my ego behind in Bali–it must have made it’s way back here somehow.

Day#6 Alkaline Cleanse

Day 5 and 6 have been ok. The mornings are all right. I’m a bit tired when I wake up and am generally a bit low on energy since I’ve been on this thing. But! The good news is that my acne and skin is clearing up nicely. I’m attributing this to the Yin Care topical stuff Dr. Eileen, my acupuncturist gave, and to the clean up in my diet. I normally don’t eat bad, but since I’ve been on this cleanse, I haven’t had anything “packaged” i.e. chips, crackers, nuts, the occasional cookie, the peach pies, corn tortillas, hummus and then no eggs, cheese and no cold glass of beer or dirty martinis either. Yup…as I just wrote all of that, it just made me realize that if my skin doesn’t fucking clear up then it may just be hopeless. But on a more serious note, maybe I do eat more processed foods than I thought I did?

My Liver Flush: ginger, garlic, lemon, olive oil, water

Today I’ve a total of 5 peaches, 5 apricots, 2 bowls of mung beans with green beans and 2 bowls of quinoa and mixed greens, topped with ghee. The ghee totally made  it satisfying and so yummy. I haven’t eaten this much fruit since…well, the amount of fruit I’ve even so far can probably add up to the amount of fruit I ate last year, if not more.

I have to say, I’m pooping regularly each morning–I don’t even need to drink tea first! I used to had to go through this whole ritual of drinking some black tea, pooping, and then starting my yoga practice. Now it’s just wham bam! I can yoga right away! (sorry if that was tmi)

Day#4 Alkaline Cleansing Diet

Woke up feeling all right! I drank my Liver Flush and Tea this morning and got to take it a little easier with my teaching schedule, since my first client wasn’t till 2pm. But because it’s my 2nd day bleeding, I was still tired (sorry if that’s tmi).

I made some quinoa with seaweed again and had it with some collard greens, kale, mustard greens, and broccoli. Lots of ginger bits and drizzled with a bit of olive oil.

quinoa & seaweed

steamed/sauteed greens

My teacher says this cleanse/fast is best when you don’t have so much to do. But because I teach everyday and am expending a lot of energy, it’s not ideal for me and she recommended I stop and do it another time. The type-A personality in me is being stubborn and saying, “No, you can do it! You’ve come this far…don’t give up now! It’s  just 6 more days! Who cares if you’re hungry? Just suck it up and eat more fruit, or eat another bowl of quinoa.” Then the more forgiving and conscious part of me says, “ok, this may not be the right thing for your body at this time. So just take it easy and eat a piece of cheese if you need to or make that mango lassie that you want so much.”

arrrgh…I will meditate upon this tomorrow a.m.

Day#3 Alkaline Cleansing Diet – STILL HUNGRY!!

Mondays for me start out by waking up at 5am and getting into Dr. Dan’s office by 6:30am in Beverly Hills. My normal routine is to get  out the door by 5:50 to get to Coffee Bean on the way for a regular latte. Instead, this morning I downed a glass of my Liver Flush, made my tea to go, and skipped the latte run. Around 8 o’clock, I ate my 2 apricots, ate my quinoa and veggies during my 9:30am break and all was good. On the way home, I got hungry and ate my peach. I came home and made lunch which was…guess what?…quinoa and steamed mustard greens and kale, with some wakame seaweed mixed in there. I ate a big bowl of this at 1:30 and left shortly to go teach yoga at Wagon Wheel.

On the way to Wagon Wheel, I got hungry in the car and ate an apricot. By the time I got done teaching I was starving again. Thank god I still had an apricot and peach left. Ate that in the car but was still hungry! I’m now on my way to Culver City where I teach at LivinGreen. I have a 1 hour break prior to teaching so I decide to go to Akasha. And that’s when I caved in and said, F this…I’m F’ing hungry! I need to eat. I sat down and thought I’d have something decadent like a margharita pizza but decided to just snack on hummus and pitta chips–all homemade there. It was VERY satisfying.

My teacher emailed me back when I told her how hungry I was and craving ‘fats’. She said that if I was hungry then I’m probably not eating enough and because I’m vata/pitta, I will get hungry easily. But if I’m craving fats this early on, it may not be the right time for me to do this. This Alkaline Cleansing Diet shouldn’t feel drastic. And she thought maybe with my gallbladder out, this cleanse might have a stronger effect on me. I never thought of that…but it’s a good point. She said I might just want to do this cleanse partially and not be so strict.

Jimmy bought me a quesadilla from the taco truck tonight and I ate 1 1/2 pieces — eek! It was so good. But now my stomach isn’t feeling well   What I did notice not having had salt the last 3 days is that I haven’t been thirsty and (sorry if this is tmi) when I got my period today, I didn’t get any bloating or cramping! I’m assuming it has something to do with salt. I’m blaming it on salt! (even though I love salt). Sorry salt!

After eating the hummus and quesadilla my tongue immediately felt tingly and weird, and then I got really thirsty.

I’m going to continue this even though I broke it slightly today. And I think I’ll try cooking dahl or kitcheri tomorrow. Wish me luck!